Cowboys And Aliens (2011) Review

Thank you for taking a look at Movies In The Rockies. This blog will take a stab at reviewing movies from the eyes, ears and mind of my non-hollywood mind. I am not an artist, insider or expert. I just like movies and want to share some opinions. Each review will start with a quick synopsis of the film, followed by my perceptions. A final rating will be given with the following rating scale:


Sea Level = The movie falls short of climbing even to the first tier Altitude.


Colorado Plains = The movie starts moving upward but lacks the legs to take it to the hills.


Foot Hills = The movie has legs, but air has left the lungs and stops the movie in its tracks.


Montains = The movie has legs & lungs.


14ers = This movie has eclipsed the summit.

(SPOILER ALERT: THE SYNOPSIS BELOW WILL EXPOSE THE PLOT)

When I saw the name of this movie I truly couldn't believe it was made. Well I've seen some unbelievably lame titles in my day, like FrankenFish, Dude, Where's My Car or Hot Tub Time Machine. Yet, none of those movies were laden with stars like Harrison Ford, Daniel Craig, Clancy Brown, Olivia Wilde, Sam Rockwell, Paul Dano and Keith Carradine. So with a cast like that, even with one of the most lame titles of all time, I have to see the movie.

The movie starts out in true classic Western Genre fashion. A rough looking, hard nosed, bad ass named Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig) wakes up with no memory, no clothes, no horse but he does have a futuristic wrist band. Three ruffians without dental insurance show up and tell Lonergan that this is not his lucky day. Of course, Jake kills them all and steals their clothes, guns, dog and a horse. Now this is a guy that can take on beast that happens to be a mix between Predator and Alien.

Jake rides into town to find out that Cattle Man, Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford), uses his influence to bully the town into letting him get away with just about anything. The sheriff (Keith Carradine) tries to keep order but Dolarhyde's lackeys keep causing trouble. This is of course until Jake's magical wrist band starts to flash lights and make noises. This signals the arrival of something these 19th century country folk have not only never seen but have never even imagined. Space ships. Not just your ordinary space ships, but space ships that lasso the townspeople and take them away to God knows where.

Along comes the beautiful Ella Swanson (Olivia Wilde). She is the one person (and I use that term loosely) that can get Jake to find the Alien hideout and get everyone's kinfolk back. Unfortunately, Jake can't remember anything so they have to track one of the Aliens who happened to be injured in their raid of the town. The tracking is a success and they are led to a space ship that is burrowed into the ground and is extracting gold and conducting experiments on their kidnap victims with a goal of taking over the world.

You can never underestimate the power of American ingenuity and love of family though. With a group of townsfolks, a gang of train robbers, and a tribe of Apaches Lonergan and Dolarhyde lead a siege of the Alien Space Craft. Things don't go well to start but the Aliens have underestimated this ragtag army. So with great grit and determination the humans win and destroy the Alien spaceship while saving the kidnapped townsfolk.

I have to admit, I didn't go to this movie kicking and screaming. I was intrigued. It must have been the blend of the cast, a hokey title, and being directed by Jon Favreau (Iron Man, Elf) that drew me in. This movie did get the most that it could out of the premise. There was great action, great sci-fi effects, great cast, and an obvious huge budget!! Where the movie failed though, is in the inception. Come on... Cowboys and Aliens? Futuristic science fiction needs to be set in the future. We all know that Wyatt Earp and brothers fought the Clanton gang at the OK Corral, not the Arachnids from Starship Troopers.

As much as I liked the cast, I don't see Daniel Craig as a western hero. First of all, he's British. Second, he sits on a horse like there is a pole sticking up through the saddle straight into his arse. Clint Eastwood he is not. You won't find me saying anything negative about Harrison Ford, though. This wasn't his best role but he is very believable as a western cattle rancher. Heck, he lives in Jackson Hole, Wyoming part of the time. He probably wasn't even acting when he was playing the role of a cowboy.

Director Jon Favreau has made the jump from Indie actor to block buster Director well. As I wrote earlier, he did what he could with the premise. It's not his fault that he was given millions of dollars to put this piece of s#&% of a story onto the big screen. I'm guessing this movie will bring in huge dollars and Favreau will be hired to put together another Comic Book adaptation or Sci-Fi thriller. I just hope the story can hold up better than this one.

Cowboys And Aliens earns a COLORADO PLAINS rating. Great directors and actors can't turn a bad story into a good one. Maybe they can make a sequel though and call it Cowboys And Illegal Aliens. He we could even get Rush Limbaugh to play Jake Lonergan.